Dos and don’ts for writing natural dialogue

“What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Swimming with the president.”
“Quit calling him that.”
“He acts like he is.”
“He’s five.”
“And he always gets his way. Anyway, you asked. Mom’s making me take him.”

Simple dialogue like what you see above can help you grasp more information that you might think. Dialogue tags and action tags always have their place, but they’re not always necessary. In fact, using them in excess can make a scene choppy and dry, so it’s a writer’s job to find that happy place and use the appropriate tag (or not) when necessary.

When people write dialogue, there are a few things that need to be considered. Take the above dialogue for example.

“What are you doing tomorrow?
“Ugh! I’m taking Charlie, my brother, swimming.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Well, because the president wants to go swimming, Mom said I have to take him. I don’t want to take him.”
“Stop calling him that.”
“Why? Just because he’s five?”

This exchange is similar to the first one I shared. Try reading them both aloud, and ponder on the words for a moment. Which sounds more realistic? Which gives you a better flow of information? If you listen to people talk, you’ll learn that colloquial speech changes the pace, the tone, and the flow of your scenes.

That’s the dialogue itself. And that’s another thing to keep in mind, because while we’ll be talking about dialogue and action tags a bit, we’ll also talk about the words around those tags (or lack thereof).

Here are dos and don’ts for writing natural dialogue

Dialogue Dos

• Just write it. Before you refine your dialogue, get that sucker out there. Go back and figure out how you want it to look, of course, but first get your thoughts out there.
• Make it conversational if it’s conversational. Otherwise, change the tone to mirror the situation (lecture, guilty passive speech, whining, etc.).
• Change the choice of words to mirror the tone of your character. If he’s intelligent, he won’t necessarily speak without contractions or with flourishes, but he will probably have a different tone. Think realistically about how your characters will sound because of who they are and, more importantly, where they come from. Do your research. Don’t assume someone speaks a certain way.
• Use incomplete sentences (not constantly). How often do you talk in complete sentences if you’re not trying to impress someone? Seriously. Don’t lie.
• Split up dialogue. If you have a lot to say, break it up. Let the friend interrupt or let something happen. Let the reader’s brain breathe. Action tags are great for this purpose if you don’t use other dialogue. Let your character trail off when something catches their eye, curl their hair impatiently before someone answers, or something. They aren’t news reporters staring at a camera with blank expressions, and they aren’t empty rooms that lack character and life.
• Listen to people speak! Grab a notebook then sit in a bar, park, grocery store, or wherever you need to be to write your scene. Listen to people talk. Pay attention to the words they repeat, how many times they interrupt each other, and what they do when they’re listening, thinking, or speaking. What happens when they’re ready to leave? How do they react to strangers talking or the people around them in general? Look at their actions and listen to their words. Pay attention to how the dialogue and actions complement each other. Pay attention to your own habits and mannerisms.
• Consider using some interjection. Oh, aren’t we all just gems of patience? Yeah, right. We interrupt each other because we have a thought, and we must speak this thought because it’s important. Don’t overuse this because it’s easy, but if it makes sense and aids the flow, it’s a great tool.
• People can trail off with their sentences or interrupt themselves with a new choice of words. It’s normal. Just don’t overdo it.
• Use those wonderful italics. Italics exaggerate a word, and sometimes it’s fun and unique. Sometimes. Again, don’t get too ctrl+i happy about it.

Dialogue don’ts

• People don’t tend to reiterate what the other person already knows (e.g. “Charlie, my brother.” Don’t repeat information for the sake of your reader. If it’s not natural, you need to make some changes so it is.
• Don’t info-dump in dialogue (or at all, but mostly in dialogue). “I met her the other day when I walked home from work. She came from another planet, but she told me, later, that she wasn’t going to harm anyone on Earth. She needs to find a cube that can save her planet, and it was stolen by…” So much information in one place makes it hard on your reader. They don’t get a chance to retain anything you’re saying because you throw out information as fast as they can read but slower than their minds can retain it. Your readers are smart, but they’re not computers.
• Don’t use onomatopoeia if you don’t have to. Ah! Ugh! Eeeeeek! Aaaaaaahhhh! If you want to listen to anything, please listen to this one. Fifty a’s will not make your scene more suspenseful than one, and one “Ah!” will not make our chests erupt in fear. Children cannot understand fear in writing, usually, so onomatopoeia is used to show them. This is more useful in children’s books than in young adult or adult literature. Let your readers see the fear burst from their eyes or show it in their trembling fingers. Or let their nose crinkle in disgust. Let them see because your readers can understand body language.
• Same with “!!!!” and “??” and “?!” and all that other stuff. This does not lead to more surprise or curiosity. For that matter, the exclamation point won’t always benefit your dialogue. Too much screaming may damage your readers’ ears. Maybe.
• Don’t use your character’s name if it’s unnatural to do so. You don’t likely use your friend’s name in conversation unless you’re calling out to them or emphasizing what you’re about to say (e.g. “Jordan, you aren’t seriously thinking about leaving her”).
• Don’t provide too much dialogue at once. Let some action happen. Maybe some self-reflection, too.
• Avoid filler words. Um and erm and like are going to say something about your character. I guarantee you can make someone nervous, indifferent, or bubbly without forcing the readers to read filler words. In excess, anyway. Consider your character.
• Don’t overuse dialogue tags. If we know who’s speaking, don’t remind us. They can drag out dialogue when used in excess.
• Likewise, don’t overuse action tags. If you use them after every other dialogue tag or in place of them everywhere, your scenes will be slow and choppy and the exchange won’t read naturally.

When it comes down to it, you need to know who’s talking, why they’re talking, and what you want your reader to know as a result. If you can communicate that efficiently and in a natural way, you have a winner. It takes work, but it’s worth it if you want natural dialogue. Naturally, these rules won’t apply to everyone. Not all of them, anyway. Your character will determine what rules to consider, but these are worth thinking about and using.

Don’t be afraid of dialogue tags, but don’t become comfortable with them. Use them where necessary. Consider who’s saying what, and consider the thinking that occurs in between if there’s time for it. Are the thoughts important? Do the mannerisms say something about the mood or character?

Different styles of dialogue are building blocks to your characters. Simple things will make them seem more intelligent or less.

If you have trouble remembering some of these things, try to exercise using a few you struggle with most. It’s less important for you to remember these lists and more important that your dialogue sounds natural, so once you reach that point, you can work on making it clean.